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Here are some questions for you to ponder in your spare time.
I can't take credit (or blame) for most of these. I'm mostly just compiling these questions. If you have any to add, Contact Me
When sign makers go on strike, what do their signs say?
When a mime is arrested, do cops tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What does a wino do on his day off?
If you were driving at the speed of light and turned on your headlights, what would happen?
Why do they make cat food in those cute little shapes? Do cats really give a damn?
Is it still illegal to park next to a fire hydrant, even if your car is on fire?
Why hasn't someone invented a solar-powered air conditioner?
Who do male ladybugs dance with? Female daddy long legs, maybe?
Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Why is it that your feet smell and your nose runs?
Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?
If seven-elevens are always open, why do they have locks on their doors?
Why do they call a building a building? Isn't it already built?
Why do the words 'loosen' and 'unloosen' mean the same thing?
How can they arrest you for being 'legally drunk'? If it's legal, what's the problem?
Why do we need a hot water heater? Hot water doesn't need heating!
Okay, and what's a sanitary landfill? It doesn't sound all that sanitary to me.
Why is 'Abbreviation' such a long word?
Why do they force criminals to do volunteer work? If they're forced, they aren't volunteers.
Is there a support group for people who are hooked on phonics?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
What happens when sour cream goes bad? It's already sour.
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Did you ever stop to think, then forget to start again?
Why do they have braille on the keypad of drive-up ATM's?
Why is it that when you send something by ship, it's called a cargo, and if you send something by car, it's called a shipment?
Why is it that, when we're driving along and we see that a police car is behind us, we sit up straight? Do we really think they give tickets for bad posture?
If a midget fortune teller was wanted by the police, would he be a small medium at large?
If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?
If a caterpillar does all the work, why does the butterfly get all the publicity?
If drinking and driving is illegal, why do we need a driver's license in order to buy beer?
When natives rehearse the rain dance, does it rain? If not, how do they know they got it right? If it does rain, why have the dance at all? Why not just hold a rehearsal?
Why do they call it 'raw sewage'? Does somebody actually cook the stuff?
Why do they say 'easy as pie'? Have you ever tried making a pie? It ain't easy!
Why do they have mailboxes in front of the post office? Wouldn't they be more useful somewhere else, like where there ISN'T a post office twenty feet away?
In court, why do they make you swear to the tell the truth? If you're going to lie, what makes them think you'll be honest about saying you'll tell the truth?
Why is it that, when you're driving around and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
What do people mean when they tell me to act natural? If it's acting, it ain't natural, and if it's natural, it ain't acting!
If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, does it make a sound?
When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
If olive oil comes from olives, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
You know that stuff they make the indestructable black boxes out of? Why don't they make the entire plane out of it?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around, does he become disoriented?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
When they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
If a guy with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?
At ballgames, why do they always sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"? They're already AT the ballgame!
If you strangled a smurf, what color would it turn?
Why is the word 'dictionary' in the dictionary? Don't they figure that if you're looking in a dictionary, you probably know what a dictionary is?
If you have 50 odds and ends on a shelf, and you break 49 of them, are you left with an odd or an end?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Why do they call them apartments if they're so close together?
Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?
If a man is talking out the middle of the forest, and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper?
What is the speed of dark?
When amphibians eat, do they have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
At Tourist Information Booths, will they give you information about other tourists?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?
Is boneless chicken considered an invertebrate?
Do married people really live longer than single people? Or does it just seem longer?
If psychics can tell you what the winning lottery numbers will be, why are they still working?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats? Does this mean there are parachutes under the seats of boats?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
If you take the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is congress the opposite of progress?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked? Or homeless?
Am I the only one who's concerned that what a doctor does to us is called his 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, while dish washing detergent contains real lemons?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What do little birdies see when they get conked on the head?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw something at him?
Why isn't 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?
Why are boxing rings square?
If you home-school your child, and he calls in absent, where the heck is he?
Who does the wrong crowd get in with?
When they invented sliced bread, what did everyone say it was the best thing since?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, do the other trees laugh at him?
Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
Why does quicksand work slowly?
Why is it that when lights are out, they are invisible, but when the stars are out, they are visible?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If 'poli' means 'many', and 'tics' are 'blood-sucking creatures', then what does 'politics' really mean?
Why doesn't the gene pool have a lifeguard?
How come success always happens in private, and failure in full view?
If you throw your pet cat out your car window would that be called CAT LITTER?
How did they measure hail before golf balls were invented?
How come Rhode Island isn't an island?
Why is it that sweetmeat isn't meat, but sweetbread is?
Why do we recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
Why do we say an alarm clock is 'going off' when it begins ringing? Isn't it going on?
Why is it that, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Is it possible to prove Murphy's Law? Or will something always go wrong when you try?
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do gas stations lock their bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will come in and clean them?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why, at sporting events, do we sit in stands?
Why is there only one monopolies commission?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why is it that, when two planes almost collide, we call it a 'near miss'? Shouldn't it be a 'near hit'?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the word 'dyslexic' so hard to spell?
When I erase a word, where does it go?
Do Roman paramedics refer to 'IV's as '4's?
Does the bridge go over the water, or does the water go under the bridge?
What was going through the mind of the first person to yank on a cow's udder?
Do M & M's melt in your armpit?
They say that for every rule, there is an exception. Well, are there any exceptions to this rule?
If you lick the air, does it get wet?
How does a Scotsman know when it is time to tune his bagpipes?
Do blind Eskimoes have seeing eye sled dogs?
How come the word 'one' has a 'w' sound in it, but the word 'two' doesn't?
Why do they call a woman's prison a penal colony?
Why does the sun come up and go down, when everything else goes up and comes down?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide-and-seek, do they automatically lose because they can't find themselves?
If you yelled at your plants, would they still grow, but only to be insecure?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they get cocoons in their stomach?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, should you automatically throw away the top one?
If this country promises free speech, why do we have phone bills?
How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn't marry the best man?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If "Star Wars" takes place 'a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away', how come almost everyone speaks English?
Why are there no 'B' batteries?
How come peanuts that don't have shells are called 'shelled peanuts'. Shouldn't they be 'unshelled peanuts'?
If you mail a letter to your postal carrier, who delivers it?
Do preschools have preteachers?
Shouldn't an escalator which is going down be called a deescalator?
What is the plural for 'a hell of a guy'? 'Hells of guys'?
If the Better Business Bureau rips you off, who do you complain to?
If the Cincinatti Reds were the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
If the automobile club has a health plan, shouldn't the health club have an automobile plan?
If a bouncer gets drunk and unruly, who throws him out?
When Popeye blows through his pipe, why doesn't his face get sprayed with burning ash?
Was George Washington's brother the Uncle of Our Country?
When a masochist gets home from work, does he change into something more uncomfortable?
Why do people start talking really loud just before they hang up the phone?
Why do we still continue to call it the New Testament if it's almost 2000 years old?
If a postal worker is happy, does that mean he's gruntled?
Why is there writing on lightbulbs? If the light's on, it's too bright to read the writing. If the light's out, it's too dark to read the writing.
If God is love, and love is blind, and Stevie Wonder is blind, doesn't that mean that Stevie Wonder is God?
When you mix water and flour, you get glue. But if you add eggs and milk to that, you get cake. So where does the glue go?
Is it okay to use an AM radio after noon?
How did Noah refrain from swatting those two mosquitos?
If the guy who made the first drawing board made a mistake, what would he have gone back to?
Why do they call it 'rush hour' when traffic is usually moving very slowly?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
If a fighter fights and a fiddler fiddles, does a butler buttle? Does a scholar schol?
When crazy people walk through the forest, do they take the psycho path?
Can atheists get insurance for an act of God?
Do bald people have bad head days?
If your nose went on strike, would you picket?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the special olympics?
If you speak only one language, are you lingual?
Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease. Why didn't he see that coming?
Do burn victims get a discount at crematoriums?
Are part-time band leaders called semi-conductors?
Are men who dress like nuns called transisters?
Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?
Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?
Would Anne Frank mind all of these people reading her diary?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If people climb Mount Everest because it's hard to do, then why do they always go up the easy side?
When you step on the brakes, is your life in your foot's hands?
If there really are multiple universes, what do you call the thing they're all part of?
Why do they announce on TV when someone sends up a spy satellite? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?
On rainy nights, does the sandman send in the mudman?
Why are there no large craft warnings?
Why is it that you always see people eating on TV, but you never see them go to the bathroom?
If a really stupid person got senile, would anyone notice?
Does anyone know what a deserted area really looks like?
If it's true that "Early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise", why are chickens so poor and stupid?
What if doing the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
If I melt dry ice, could I swim without getting wet?
Why do they sell scented deodorants? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why do banks charge you fees for having insufficient funds? They already know you don't have the money.
Why do scientists call it 'research' when they're looking for something new?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we wash towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
If quitters never win, why do they tell us to quit while we're ahead?
Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living?
Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
When James Bond was just starting out, did he have a learners permit to kill?
What do chickens think people taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
If flying is so safe, why does every flight end at a 'terminal'?
If Little Richard has a gal named Sue who knows just what to do, then what's the point of his having a gal named Daisy who almost drives him crazy?
Is it possible for two possums to fight to the death?
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
How come we choose from just two or three people to select our president, but we choose from fifty people for Miss America?
Why is the man who invests your money called a 'broker'?
How will you know when you run out of invisible ink?
Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him?
If the energizer bunny attacked someone, would he be charged with battery?
If time is the best teacher, why does it kill all of its students?
If God took LSD, would He see people?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to 'cure' it?
Can an ambidextrous person make an offhand remark?
Should you feed a boogie fever?
Does condensed milk come from small cows?
How do you let someone know you painted a 'wet paint' sign?
If a person thinks marathons are superior to sprints, is he a racist?
If vampires can't see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?
If people from Poland are called 'Poles', are people from Holland called 'Holes'?
If there is no God, then who pops up the next kleenex in the box?
If a taxicab driver were to drive backwards, would he end up owing his passenger money?
Does someone who is 'born again' have two bellybuttons?
If you mixed vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you end up with a Phillips Screwdriver?
Do they test animal shampoo on humans?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If croutons are just stale bread, why do they ship it in airtight packages?
When it's dark out, why do we say it's 'after dark'. Isn't it after light?
Do those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't?
Why is it that if a man talks dirty to a woman, she sues him, but if a woman talks dirty to a man, he pays her $3.95 per minute?
Why is tuna sometimes called 'tuna fish'? Chicken is never called 'chicken bird'.
If a vacuum cleaner really sucks, is that good?
Why is the third hand on your watch called the second hand?
Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?
Why is it 'a penny for your thoughts', but you put your two cents in? Does this mean somebody is making a penny?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered "assassinated" instead of just "murdered"?
If money deosn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why is bread square, but most sandwich meats round?
Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
Why are you "in" a movie, but "on" TV?
Why do people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars so they can look at things on the ground?
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who do they call?
Why do toasters even bother to have a 'burn to a horrible crisp' setting?
Why do doctors give you privacy while you undress if they're going to see you naked anyways?
If Wile E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Do Jewish vampires still avoid crosses?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
If Hooters started delivering to people's homes, would they have to change their name to Knockers?
When French people swear, do they say "pardon my English?"
If something "goes without saying", why do people still say it?
Why is it good to be "under par" in golf, but bad to be "under par" in anything else?
Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?
In football, why do running backs run forwards and not backwards?
If a bunch of cats jumped on top of each other, would it still be called a dog pile?
If a criminal turns himself in, shouldn't he get the reward money?
How come boat Skippers don't skip?
If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?
If ghosts can walk through walls, how come they don't fall through the floor?
Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
If a cop arrests a one-handed person, do they tell them to put their hands up? And do they still cuff them?
What is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If you're in hell and you get mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
If everything's possible, then is it possible that nothing is possible?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would the offspring be called a bulls**t?
I bought some christmas lights that said on the package "for indoor or outdoor use only". What else is there?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
Do geese get people bumps?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
Do birds ever get tickled by their own feathers?
Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of "out of whack"? "In whack"?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?
If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
When a cow freaks out, do people say it's "having a person"?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russian government, where would they send you?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling, "Movie! Movie!"?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
If a tree fell on a mime, would he make a sound?
What do they call male meter maids? Meter butlers?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
If soap makes things clean, why does it leave a scum?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
Does anyone ever plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?
Why do businesses give away "free gifts"? Aren't all gifts free?
Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
Why do they report power outages on TV? If your power's out, you wouldn't see it. And if your power's not out, you wouldn't care.
Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Do pigs ever pull their ham strings?
Why do some realty signs say 'For Sale By Owner'? Who the heck else would be selling it?
What do "Occasional Tables" do for the rest of the time?
Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?
Why do men have nipples? Isn't that a bit like plastic fruit?
Why doesn't TV have a channel #1?
Why do we struggle to find the closest parking place when we go to the mall, then spend three hours walking all over the place?
Why do women go out and get a "permanent" every six months?
Why is it that when you see a lightning bug, you never hear any thunder?
What do monsters dress up as for halloween?
Why do ballerinas dance on the tips of their toes? Couldn't they just get taller girls?
Why do people view a glass as "half empty" or "half full" when actually the glass is just too big?
If a number is a "whopping" big number, at what point does it begin to "whop" and what does that look like?
If some people are "overwhelmed", are the rest of the people just "whelmed"?
If a ram is a sheep, and an ass is a donkey, why is a ram in the ass a goose?
Why do they call it "hand blown glass" when you have to use your mouth?
How do they fit all that hot air into blow dryers? Why don't they ever run out?
Does it take two half-salers make a wholesaler?
Why aren't greyhounds grey?
Why is it that a woman can man a station, but a man can't woman one; and a man can father a movement, but a woman can't mother one?
If adults commit adultery, do infants commit infantry?
Why does a priceless object cost more than a pricey one?
In the Army, why do privates eat in a general mess and generals eat in a private mess?
If time flies when you are having fun, what does it do when you are bored? Take a bus?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
What would happen if you mooned a werewolf?
Why do all the moons of all the other planets have a name, and ours is just plain "Moon"??
Why is it that people who tell you to have an open mind always want you to agree with them?
What do plain clothes policemen wear on their day off?
Why do radio stations interrupt "60 minutes of uninterrupted music" to tell you that you're listening to 60 minutes of uninterrupted music?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would he be -- clear?
Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
We read that volunteers fill sandbags to keep floods at bay. Who empties the sandbags when the flood is over?
Why do so many rivers have the uncanny ability to follow state lines?
Why do our heads itch when we think?
Do witches use spell checkers?
If you ate your own foot, would you gain weight?
Do babies think adults are cute?
If you are standing directly on the line between two time zones, and it is 12:00 on one side and 1:00 on the other, is it 12:30 where you are standing?
If you snore loud enough to wake up your spouse, why don't you wake yourself up?
Does the film in my camera weigh more after I take a picture?
With all those major rivers running into the ocean, why doesn't it get any fuller?
If Atlas is holding the world on his shoulders, what is he standing on?
If God didn't want us to procrastinate - why did he invent tomorrow?
How fast would lightning be if it didn't have to zig zag?
Why aren't lawyers sworn in during trials?
Why can't you ever find a guilty bystander?
Why do we need tomato paste? Did someone break a tomato?
Why does grass only smell when you cut it?
Why does pizza get to your house faster than the police?
Why doesn't the Washington Monument look like George?
Why is common sense so uncommon?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why does a Chinese fortune cookie have a message in English in it?
Why is he called the Lone Ranger, when Tonto is always with him?
Why do they lock the lid on a coffin?
Why is it that even when I hit the CTRL key on my computer, I'm not in control?
Why does the Secret Service hold press conferences?
Do lawyers live in legal pads?
Do Alabama babies have a southern drool?
Do artificial plants need artificial water?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Who edits fishing shows, and how do they decide which parts are boring?
How did they come up with acupuncture? Did someone just happen to jab themself in the foot and notice their headache went away?
What happens if you add water to a condensed book?
It is really "all purpose" flour? I mean, can I use it to bathe in or as a driveway sealer?
Why do relatives ask "Would you like to see the new baby"? Do they have an old baby they're hiding in the garage?
If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen are defrocked does it follow that:
Electricians should be delighted,
Musicians - denoted,
Cowboys - deranged,
Models - deposed,
Dry Cleaners - depressed,
Laundry workers - decreased,
Bedmakers - debunked,
Baseball Players - debased,
Bulldozer Operators - degraded,
Organ Donors - delivered,
Software Engineers - detested,
Underwear makers - debriefed,
Composers - decomposed,
Politicians - devoted
Power plant workers - degenerate
Light travels faster than sound - isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Why don't women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
If American mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, do Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
How did the "Don't Walk On The Grass" signs get there?
When snow melts, where does the white go?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time to set it to?
Are female moths called myths?
Do Australian's call the rest of the world "up over"?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If you jog backwards - will you gain weight?
Is a halfback worth more than a quarterback?
Why do signs that say "Slow Children" show a picture of a running child?
How do you get out club soda stains?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram?"
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Why is it possible to make amends, but not to make just one amend?
Is Karl Marx's grave a Communist plot?
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are know as the "JAGS", and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "BUCS", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one person likes it?
Are people who jump off a Paris bridge in Seine?
If glassblowers inhale do they get a pane in the stomach?
Has anyone ever vanished WITH a trace?
If God sneezes, what should you say?
If Wal-Mart lowers prices every day, how come things aren't free yet?
Why are they called stairs when they are inside and steps when they are outside?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Is a pessimist's blood type b-negative?
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Why do they tell you to wear "loose fitting clothes" to an exercise class? If you had loose fitting clothes why would you go to exercise class?
If fat people go skinny dipping, shouldn't they call it "chunky dunking"?
If a man fell into an upholstery machine would he ever be fully recovered?
Do kleptomaniacs help themselves, because they can't help themselves?
What was Captain Hook's name before he got the hook?
Other Humor Pages of Mine:
What I've Learned From The Movies