Home Page

Religious Jokes

RELIGIOUS RIDDLES


Q: What is the only car approved by the Bible?

A: Hondas! The Bible says we should all be in one Accord.

Did you also know that there were motorcycles during Biblical times?

King David owned one. The bible says that David's "Triumph" could be heard throughout the land!

Q:  How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  None.  God decides when the bulb will change.

Q:  How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Just one, but please send in your donation today so that they can buy the bulb.

Q:  How many members of the Church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Five.  One to change the bulb and four to serve refreshments.

Q:  How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Two.  One to change the bulb, and one to give the old bulb last rites.

Q:  How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  CHANGE?????

Q:  How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  None.  The Bible says NOTHING about light bulbs!

Q:  How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  What's a light bulb?

Q: Who was the best financier in the Bible?

A: Noah, because he floated his entire stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation.

Q: Who was the best female financier in the Bible?

A: The Pharoah's daughter.  She went down to the bank of the Nile and took out a little prophet.

Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

A: Ruthless.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson.  He brought the house down.

Q: Why didn't Noah do any fishing from the ark?

A: He only had 2 worms.

Q: Who was the first smoker in the Bible?

A: Rebecca. In Genesis 24:64, it says she lighted off her camel.

Q:  Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?

A:  Because Noah sat on the deck.

Q: What's the greatest case of constipation in the Bible?

A: satan. Revelation says he'll be bound up for a thousand years!

Q: What's the second-greatest case of constipation in the Bible?

A: David.  He sat on the throne for fifty years.

Did you know that they played tennis in ancient Egypt?

They must have, because Joseph served in Pharoah's court

Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with milk of magnesia?

A: A Religious movement

Q. What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?

A. The ones in the casinos are really serious!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

A. Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.

Q.  Where did Noah keep those two bees?

A.  In archives.

Return to Religious Jokes